1. During idealization, he quickly became your best friend, soulmate, and a partner so perfect, the only possible explanation was you were born to find and take care of each other. He loved and adored you above all… and only saw flawless because even your flaws were perfect in his eyes. Your guard has been completely lowered for him and you trusted him with your life forever.
2. Then you found yourself dragged through a series of mental and emotional obstacle course during devaluation, where your heart and head was constantly being thrown around in all directions. By this time, you’ve become so desperate for the idealization stage that you’re grateful for any scraps of “goodness” your abuser throws your way.
3. And here you are… DISCARDED like your relationship never happened. Whether it lasted a week, a few months, 2-3 years (this seems the average), or a full-blown 10+ year relationship complete with marriage vows and kids… you are now worthless in his eyes and you discover he’s already moved on to his new target, sweeping her off her feet through the idealization stage.