“S/he was so loving and affectionate, I was quickly swept me off my feet!” “Our connection was so intense, it felt like we were the only two people in this world.” “S/he always made me feel safe and totally accepted.” “How can someone lie through their teeth like that?“
Believe me, I GET you! The love-bombing stage was so intense for me, I was absolutely convinced beyond a doubt that the ex-narc and I had a totally unique bond known to no other. These sentiments were all expressed to me at the very beginning of our relationship that at times I felt cornered and overwhelmed.
Unbeknownst to me, he (along with pretty much all narcissists) regurgitates these same “confessions of deep love” for all victims… recognize any?
- I love you so much. I love everything about you
- I love you completely. I love who you REALLY are deep inside
- I’ve never loved anyone like this before
- I have never been loved like this ever
- I finally know what true love is about
- You are the only one who can truly love me
- No one can ever make me as happy as you do
- I’ve never been this happy in my life
Actual text sent from the NPD ex. He’s quite dreamy. Did you date him too? - Your love saved my soul
- You’ve completely changed my life
- I am so excited about our future together
- I’m so crazy about you
- I’m all yours forever
- You are mine forever
- I will protect you til I die
- I will die for you
- I would take a bullet for you
- I will crawl through glass to protect you
- I will give up my business if I need to, to support yours
- I have no doubts about us
- There are no words to describe how I feel about you
- You are my saving angel
- There is no one who is more perfect for me than you
- I only want you. No one can ever compare
- Now I know what all those love songs are about
- Those love poems finally mean something to me
- We were meant to change the world together
- I’m so lucky that someone like you sees something special in me
- Of all the people in this world, I choose you every day
- I may not be the smartest guy/girl but I know how special you are and I will never mess this up
Do any (or all) of these sound familiar? Apparently, narcissists share a list of words and phrases they use during the idealization and hoovering stages. Sadly, they’re all empty words with no substance… and they all mean just one thing:
I’m over-the-moon excited about all the narcissistic supply (status, financial stability, sex, ego stroking, live-in babysitter, housekeeper, convenient companionship, admiration from onlookers, etc.) I expect to take from you!
No matter what they do or say, the fact remains: The narcissist’s ONLY motivation is getting their supply to validate and regulate their self-esteem because they are unable to see past their own needs.
xoxo
Trauma Bonding and How to Begin Removing It
